Lots less meds

I'm really proud of myself. I don't take the Wellbutrin at all anymore and I don't notice a difference in the way I feel. I've also cut back to 150 mg of effexor instead of the 300 and again, I don't notice a difference. I think I've been on this dose for about two weeks. That's really good. I'd prefer not to have to take them. I will try the niacin supplements when my nose is healed completely becasue of the stupid niacin flush.

My nose still hurts quite a bit. I was right when I guessed about 10 days for full recovery. It's only been four. My headaches and face aches aren''t quite as bad, but I'm still extremely sensitive to light and very  tired. Just physically exhausted. Nauseous sometimes, too. But only taking a bit of food at a time.
But I am sleepin when I need to and asking for help because I have absolutely no choice. I am dizzy still when I drive, like major motion sickness. yuck.

I cannot believe P. He is so crazy. So incredibly sick. Like his like is messed up beyond belief and he did it to himself. I don't feel sorry for him. I hate that I keep even thinking about him. All I realize is that this past nine months/year while I've been his "sort of" friend, he has been telling me nothing. His life has been one big lie. To have a baby and not believe it, to fail a test three times so that you can get a promotion, to live in a dump and have maybe two friends, his only area of his life he feels control over is food and sex and that is why he loses weight and feels invincible. When he loses weight, he feels like he did when he was rich. Like he's so important. And the sexual addiction is just the one way he knows to distract himself. He is truly one sick person. Wow, when I look at him I am very glad we grew apart over the past year and I never really let him back into my life. Yuck.

I'm going to be okay. I feel right about taking this permaculture certification. It will give me some credibility and background info as well as some contacts. I can take this further. Whether it is with schools, or showing communities....or what, I don't know? Everything is going to work out for me I can feel it. I have faith. I'm going to be great. I love my life right now. Thank you God for my family, friends, my roof over my head. My life. Thank you.